Winter

Posted

English


I can feel that you are approaching and it is inevitable. The days are getting shorter and the chilly winds can touch my bones.
Oh winter why you don't stay where you are and don't come to visit. You just bring me the blues, even when you can bring the most beautiful sightings I don't get happy when you come. Even when you bring the best holidays you also leave a hole in my heart.
Oh winter please don't come home!.

Corrections


Winter
I can feel that you are approaching and it is inevitable. The days are getting shorter and the chilly winds can touch my bones.
Oh winter why you don't stay where you are
and don ? Don 't come to visit. You just only bring me the blues , even . Even when you can bring the most beautiful sightings sights, I don't get become happy when you come. Even when you bring the best holidays , you also leave a hole in my heart.
Oh winter please don't come home!.
Posted
Corrected as best as I could for grammar's sake. But seriously, I like it the way it is, without correction. Poetry should be free of constraint. It's just beautiful that way.

Posted

Winter
I can feel that you are approaching and it is you are inevitable. The days are getting shorter and the chilly winds can already touch my bones.
Oh winter why
you don't you stay where you are and don't never come here to visit me . You just bring give me the blues , even when you can bring the most beautiful sightings I don't get happy when you come sights, you leave me with sadness . Even when you bring the best holidays , you also leave a hole in my heart.
Oh winter
, please don't come home !. !
Posted
I agree with Philip that your piece is great and that poetry should be free flowing and all. Just would like to add some more spice and drama in there with the rhyming.

Posted